So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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