i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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