I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
