i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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