It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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