Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
