Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
