i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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