he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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