Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
