My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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