I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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