I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
