meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
