I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
