Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
