I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
