Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
