Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How's work?
Spinning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
