i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
