so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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