I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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