We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
