i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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