no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize