Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize