stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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