woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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