don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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