I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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