I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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