3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Pooping to opera.
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