if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
