I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
