we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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