No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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