he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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