Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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