It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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