Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
