Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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