dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
