Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
