Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
