There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize