There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
