I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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