If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
