are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
