We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize