You work out of a Hotel?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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