A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
