people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
