Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
