pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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