based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
