Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
