We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
