Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
