you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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