I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
