maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
