I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
